Elf Name

Elf Name Generators



http://www.lowchensaustralia.com/names/generators.htm
This site has a ton of name generators for different things. My dark elf name is Loned Wildpaw.

http://chriswetherell.com/elf/
My elfish name is Alatariel Faelivrin.

http://www.seventhsanctum.com/index-name.php
My elf name is Ubegaod Peacesigh.

http://www.jokesunlimited.com/christmas_elf_name.php
My Christmas elf name is Snooky Floppy-Feet.


http://www.slacknhash.net/elf_name_generator.php
My elf name is Dolnís.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/shropshire/features/christmas/name_generator.shtml
My name is Lucky Nose-Gnome.


http://www.rdinn.com/generators/2/elven_name_generator.php
My sylvri (elfen) name is Venmariiel Vanren.


http://www.quizopolis.com/christmas-elf-name.php
My Christmas elf name is Pinky Bing-A-Ling.

What is your elf name(s)?

A Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to attach nine patches on to my daughter's Girl Scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have).

I'd like a pair of arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big-ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide my secret stash of chocolate.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says,"Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, Mom

PS: One more thing, you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gag Gifts

This site if full of gag gifts; some cute, some funny, some down- right silly.

Some of the ideas at the site::

(1) 50th Birthday Wreath
Buy a wreath and glue 50 suckers/lollipops around it. Take black ribbon (about inch wide) and with glue print "50 Sucks!" on the ribbon. Sprinkle gold glitter over the glue. Attach ribbon to wreath.

(2) Hillbilly Potpourri
peanut shells
beer tabs
beer caps
toothpicks
spent shells

(3) Belly Button Blow Dryer
An ordinary flexible drinking straw attached to a tag with a poem on it. Go to the site to see the poem.

(4) Gift Not Included
Buy two batteries and put them in a box. Attach a note saying "Gift not included."

http://granny2shoes2.tripod.com/03gaggifts.html#gg15

Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas

Cost of the 12 Days of Christmas on the Rise

The Associated Press
Monday, November 27, 2006

The cost of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is on the rise — again.
The total price of all the gifts listed in the Christmas carol went up
3.5 percent this year, according to PNC Financial Services Group in
Pittsburgh.

The good news is that it's much less of a jump than last year, when
prices increased 9.5 percent from 2004.

"After years of stagnation, wages for skilled workers, including the
song's dancers and musicians, have increased as the labor market has
tightened," said Jeff Kleintop, chief investment strategist for PNC
Wealth Management. Buying each item in the song just once will cost you $18,920 — 3.1 percent more than last year.

Trying to find cheaper deals online won't help, either. The 364 items
online would cost $125,767, including shipping costs, compared to
$123,846 last year. You would spend $30,330 online for each item just
once this year.

The nine ladies dancing are the costliest items on the list again,
followed by the seven swans, which cost $4,200.

The cheapest? As always, the partridge, still $15.

"Also, a decline in the housing market has dampened demand for luxury
goods, such as gold rings," he said.

While prices for the partridge, two turtle doves, three French hens,
six geese and seven swans remained the same as last year, higher wages
made the lords a-leaping, ladies dancing and pipers piping costlier.

The nine ladies dancing earned $4,759, 4 percent more, according to
Philadanco, the Philadelphia Dance Co. The lords a-leaping got a 3-
percent pay raise, while the drummers drumming and pipers piping
earned 3.4 percent more.

The maids a-milking, however, weren't as lucky. They make the federal
minimum wage, which has been $5.15 per hour since 1997.

This year, buying all 364 items — from a partridge in a pear tree to a
dozen drummers drumming — repeatedly on each day as the song suggests
would set you back $75,122, up from $72,608 in 2005.

The Month After Christmas

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick.
I'll want to chew only on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore --
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!